grateful – Denise Tapscott

A Thankful Nod in November

A Thankful nod in November 2018

As a grown up (on paper anyways, as I pride myself on the youthful glow I inherited from my parents) it seems that celebrating holidays takes a lot more effort than it used to. A part of that effort comes from adult responsibilities like working and paying bills when we are bombarded with ads to spend more. However, a part of the effort to celebrate holidays also comes from the fact that as an adult you have more freedom to make choices. You don’t have to have to cook Turkey on Thanksgiving if you don’t want to. You can choose to order Pizza or anything else you crave. You don’t have to be social. You can choose to go anywhere you want, and do anything you want to do, or nothing at all. You can partake of crazy holiday sales or boycott them. You can even choose to not celebrate Thanksgiving at all, especially because to some people it represents oppression and the obliteration of several cultures.

For me personally, I choose to celebrate Thanksgiving by reflecting on who and what I’m thankful for in my life. Above you will find photos of me and people that I’m blessed to have in my life.

I’m grateful for my awesome parents and beautiful sister who encourage me to follow my dreams.

I’m grateful for close friends and extended family that although I don’t see them everyday, I love them very much. I’m fortunate to have an agreement that we are just a text or phone call away, any time.

I’m grateful for my tribe of writers, fancy dancy friends and fellow actors in The Vamps Next Door. We get to be playful, creative and weird and best of all, we celebrate each other for it. I especially want to give a shout out to my unofficial mentors Blaze McRob @wyomingBob, his lovely wife Terri Del Campo @TerriDelCampo and Linda Addison @nyebird. They inspire to me keep moving and they remind me that writing is a marathon, not a sprint.

I’m grateful for new friends I met over the past year or two, some I met while travelling or being out solo. My adventures (and wine dinners) were more fun because of them.

I’m grateful for my day job and the people I have worked with throughout the years (this includes my favorite supervisor who I torture from time to time about how awesome my New Orleans Saints are, compared to his dallas cowboys are this season.) Every day is a treat, regardless of if the workload is hard or easy.

I’m grateful for internet friends. Although we haven’t met in person, they have been supportive and caring. If ever there’s a way I can support them, I’m happy to do so too. I definitely have to give a shout out to Papa Lou and The Broken Army www.thebrokenones.org. When researching different religions, beliefs and magic for my stories, I came across the handsome “alcohol fueled, southern born national treasure” Papa Lou. His insights in the world of Hoodoo and life in general are interesting and entertaining. I love his stories and his southern charm! What also keeps me tuning into his YouTube channel is his passion to help out other people, especially those in need. He doesn’t brag about it too often, (although he swears he is the King Of Christmas) but he’s made it known that he feeds homeless people in his area, and made it a mission to help out a few families for Thanksgiving and Christmas. If/when I make to to Atlanta (for more research for my next book Enlightening of the Damned) I’m gonna find him, buy him a beer (or two) and ask for more stories.

I’m grateful too, for the friends and loved ones who wouldn’t want to be mentioned on social media. I’ve told them in person and I’ll say it again; I appreciate you being in my life.

Lastly, I’m grateful to YOU, the person reading this blog right now. Thank you for letting me share silly and serious parts of my life with you. I hope you are entertained and inspired for things in your own life.

Strength in October 2018

October is one of my favorite months of the year. The nights are finally a bit cooler here in Los Angeles. We don’t have many seasons here, but it kinda feels like Fall. Halloween is a huge holiday for me. Lots of old scary movies, and a few new ones are shown just about everywhere. There are tons of yummy candies and sweets for trick or treaters. It’s also a great time to dress up as whatever or whoever I want to be.

This year I’m struggling with my Halloween costume. I already have some great ones: Tiana from Princess and the Frog, Michonne from the Walking Dead, Flight attendant from Snakes on a plane, and as always, a Pirate (I’d dress like a pirate every day if I could). But what about this time? Maybe I could be a superhero. They have great strength. I did many google searches for costume ideas, but nothing inspired me. I temporarily abandoned my quest and decided to research Voodoo vs Hoodoo for my second novel Enlightening of the Damned.

I came across You Tube videos of an interesting Conjure Doctor/Root Worker named Papa Lou. Check him out on YouTube, and his website is www.brokenones.org His old school southern charm and devilish grin will lure you in. His passion for what he believes and his sincerity to help others will hold your attention and inspire you. One of his many videos really resonated with me. He spoke about ancestors and the strength they had to endure slavery. Consider this: when the slavery ships came to the United States, some of the captive people chose to drown themselves rather than live in their new world. Other enslaved people pushed on and did their best to live under treacherous circumstances. If these people didn’t have strength to survive, I wouldn’t be here today. I’m quite sure that people who have relatives that survived the holocaust and other unspeakable, horrible circumstances could say the same thing. Those people before us, our ancestors, had a special silent strength that I am grateful for. Listening to Papa Lou with his Georgia accent gave me more to be thankful for in my life.

It also gave me more appreciation for the Mexican tradition of remembering deceased relatives during Dia de los Muertos which occurs October 31 through November 2 this year. During this holiday, families gather and offer the deceased their favorite food, drink and music they enjoyed when they were alive. Families create altars and decorate graves for their loved ones. Supposedly the dead return to be with their loved ones. The movie Coco does an amazing job bringing this tradition to the big screen for all of us to experience.

When considering what strength means to me, other people came across my mind. It’s sort of a silent strength. To me, my dad is a hero. He’s my mother’s caretaker. Day in and day out he watches over, feeds and protects the love of his life without ever complaining. That in itself takes physical and mental strength, 24 hours a day. Anyone who is battling cancer, depression or any life threatening situation and is still here to talk about it has strength and is a hero in my mind. This also applies to anyone who is a caregiver for someone else.

So, what am I going to be for Halloween this year? Sorry kids, I still don’t know 100 percent. I do know it won’t be Wonder Woman (who I still love, just saying). I also know, however, that I appreciate the people in my universe with silent strength, and I should pay more attention to Dia de los Muertos.

September and a mindful Harvest moon 2018

Thanks to to my handy dandy Supernatural 2018 calendar (Hello Dean Winchester), I know there will be a full moon on September 24. According to the spiritual people on the internet, this “Harvest Moon” will be mentally challenging as it opposes the Sun. There will be a lot of “out with the old and in with the new” happening in people’s lives. We say goodbye to summer and hello to fall.

Regardless if it’s hocus pocus, tom foolery to some people or a hard truth to others, for me personally, I’ve been working harder to raise my vibrations. The negative thoughts, those pesky mental zombies that try to get me to worry about things beyond my control, have me meditating, praying or just sitting in silence and listening to my heart beat a lot more than normal. I have been busy writing, editing and submitting my work and I do love the idea that soon we will see the fruits of our labor. I have two great short stories that I adore, The Price of Salvation and Diane’s Flower. I hope to self publish them soon. Is there some truth to the positions of the sun and moon in the sky above and how they affect us? I’d like to think so.

So far in September, there are two things I’ve found very challenging to my peace of mind. While not earth shattering, these things have been quite bothersome. The first being the film The Nun. The movie trailers were foreboding and scary. I love horror films and I could hardly wait to be frightened by this ominous character! The creepy nun character definitely scared me with her appearances in other films in the Conjuring universe. If you’ve seen any of them you know what I mean. Holy Moly!

The actual challenge? The movie didn’t scare me. It was just okay. Without revealing too much, in the first few minutes of the film we the viewers have a great idea of who/what the Nun is. The rest of the movie had some spine-chilling and hair-raising moments but overall, this movie would not give me silly nightmares. I even saw it alone in a theater at 11:00pm!

Why am I so disappointed that it didn’t scare me? Why is there even a need to be frightened? For me the idea of something supposedly, possibly challenging my mortality in a make believe world is thrilling, especially if it’s supernatural or paranormal. I attended a writing seminar taught by Tim Waggoner : http://www.timwaggoner.com about fear in books, television and film. One of the many points that I keep in mind that he mentioned is that some of the things that scare us the most are situations where no one, for example not even your parents, can save you from” the monster”. Watch at Jaws or Poltergeist, read Cujo or The Shining and see what mean. I love it!

The Nun is creepy, but in her stand alone movie she doesn’t challenge my mortality in a make believe world.

The second thing in September that challenges me mentally is that one of my favorite holidays, Halloween, is around the corner. What on God’s green earth will I dress up as? I have a charming/saucy pirate costume (I love love love pirates). I have a sexy/spicy witch costume and last year I dressed up as an enchanting Goth Vampire ala Anne Rice Interview with a Vampire style. People that know me joke that on Halloween I simply dress in my natural form. Well now it’s 2018. Do I dress a superhero? One year I dressed as a devil in a blue dress and one year I dressed as Michonne from the Walking Dead. Both costumes were clever but not everyone understood them. I could dress as the Nun, but I bet a dollar I’d have to explain who she is, which is no fun. One should never have to explain too much who they are on Halloween. I’ll just have to see what the Universe thinks I should dress up as.

This harvest moon is got me spinning my mental wheels. I’m giving thanks for my blessings and looking forward to what I will personally Harvest in the near future.

Dear friend, is there something that is challenging you mentally silly or serious in nature? Do you have any costume recommendations for me? Feel free to hit me up on social media.

I hope all is well with you.

Balancing Emotions in July

As I may have mentioned previously, when I create characters in my stories I try to be as thorough and specific as possible to make them interesting. When choosing personality traits, as well as searching for my own inspiration in the real world I visit a website by the lovely Dr. Loretta Standley. She states that “Astrology is not Law; God is the Law! Astrology is ‘the rules’ and the rules are often broken.” You can also find tons of information about holistic health, Angels, prayers and other things spiritual. Thanks to her website, I learned that the beginning of July is ruled by astrological sign of Cancer. It’s motto is “I feel therefore I am”. www.drstandley.com

I can certainly say that July has toyed with my emotions right from the start. I began the month in fear. When I woke up on July 2, I couldn’t see out of my left eye for 10 minutes. I was terrified! After talking with my sister and making multiple phone calls, I was able to make several appointments in one week. I saw my regular doctor (who I think is wonderful even if I only see her yearly) and I visited an eye doctor for the first time (!) where had my eyes dilated (I’m pretty sure I looked like one of the PowerPuff girls afterwards). Guess who has 20/20 vision at the age of 298? This woman!. I had an ultrasound of my carotid arteries to make sure there were no blood clots. By the end of the week, I was given a clear bill of health. My panic and fear changed to gratitude. It turns out, I had an ocular migraine, which isn’t as scary as it sounds. Most likely I slept like a monster after sitting in the sun too long and drinking one too many glasses of sangria.

The second week of July I stepped into my apartment elevator to go to work. The doors closed but nothing happened. I hit the lobby button and there was no movement. I hit the open door button and nothing happened. I was trapped! I was all alone in the elevator for about 40 minutes. I wasn’t scared (that was soooo last week). I was frustrated, irritated and annoyed. One of the cool apartment managers waited outside the elevator to make sure I was okay until a technician arrived. A close friend called to check up on me, I played Words with Friends on my cell phone and my beloved sister constantly texted me until I was free. Once again my emotions were amok. Maybe there was a reason I was delayed form leaving? What could have happened if I left earlier than planned? Would I be alive to tell the tale? Thank God I didn’t have to go to the bathroom! After dreaming up different scary scenarios, I shook the gloomy thoughts and chose to be grateful. Friends and family checked up on me. People sent me positive vibes. I thanked God and the powers that be that I was, and still am just fine and dandy.

Week Three is my mother’s birthday. I posted a photo of her along with my sister and myself on social media (as you can see above). I love her smile in this photo. The Tapscott girls are happy and I’d bet a dollar my dad had a huge grin too when he took this photo. Sadly, because of advanced Alzheimer’s Mom doesn’t know what day it is. I chose to post this picture to remind me and those who have known her throughout the years of brighter times. Lots of friends took the time to send her birthday love. Their touching messages caused me to choke up. There were many tears of joy and pain. I have a beautiful life thanks to my mom, while today her brain betrays her. Once my tears cleared I reminded myself to be grateful. Through highs and lows I have an amazing life that I am thankful for, every day.

As we leave the influence of emotional Cancer and make our way to feisty Leo “I will, therefore I am” , I’m especially grateful for all things great and small, and am doing my best to raise my vibration and positive energy. Next week is my sister’s birthday. May God have mercy on our souls.